Stream of Consciousness Day. #HAWMC

my daughter Grace

Today is random day. A knot of emotions welling up making me feel like I am not a good mom. My back showing the signs of old age because I put tension, frustration, failures. The lack of sleep makes my world a bit darker like the night's sky. Though because of all the buildings, they have bits of bright spots, so I'd go with the country side night sky. The pain in my heart makes me feel like I can't love something new however I let people in. The weight of my tears makes my face heavy when I cry. I almost feel like I shouldn't be here anymore. Just get in a jet plane and leave things behind. I felt like that when I had my first daughter. And like my first daughter I didn't have any money to accomplish this, that is why I sat and looked at the airplanes flying over my head and wanted to be on them. I guess not every airplane, but the ones going to Japan or Australia. Just for the day or the week just to say I did it.

I do it one year. Just to say I did it. I'll put it in my Bucket list. The fancy way of saying need to do before I'm XX years old.

Woman VS Sewing Machine Part 2

In my last post Woman VS Sewing Machine, I stated in no uncertain terms that my husband's sewing machine hated me. I still think its true, however, it did allow me to make this bellow all by myself:

Bella being a model

I got the material in 2010 thinking that I would make a nice summer dress for Bella. It has the stretchy top all ready built in so easy project right? Two years later it was still sitting in the undone project pile of material. I decided to make something. I thought what would be better than the dress for Bella. After a few rounds I actually completed a whole project by myself!

Back

Patch I had to make because I ripped a little of the material

What do you think of it? Do you have any tips for me to help line the straps better?

Start of a homemade guru? The Tutu Story

To stick to a New Years Goal of getting off my duff and start making something of and for myself and family, led to the motivation of making things from scratch. Whether it be food or home goods including clothes. 

When I was a kid I didn't have a good impression of homemade clothes. My mother used to make a few of my summer dresses and a few shirts which was fine. However the hang up was when she took my store bought dresses that still fit on the top, however because I would have a growth spurt (as all kids do) they turned in to mini skirts, she would find the "matching" (that kind of looked like the dress material but was off) material and sew an extra panel to the bottom of the dress. To an eight year old all ready getting teased and bullied because I was different having this fashion faux pas was just another nail in my coffin. 

By associating this with the sewing machine and the horrid dresses that my mom tacked with extra material, I disliked dresses and the thought of home made anything made me think of clothes looking cheep and dirty.

Flash forward twenty years I met my husband and he had a love of sewing. Soon I was introduced back into the thing I vowed not to touch back when I was an eight year old child. A Sewing Machine. The fabric store was easy to get back into. The feel of the yards of different fabrics made my brain explode with different ideas of things to make. Maybe a bag, maybe make an actual piece of clothing or something like a bed sheet. A few years later I got pregnant and I got all the Winnie the Pooh material, patterns and accessories to make everything a nursery would need. However a good majority of material is still uncut, the patterns are still folded and the accessories have been used a little. Though I did manage to make a quilt for my first daughter, but that's a different story.

Two and a half years later, I had my second daughter and my eldest was getting into girly things like princesses, also their fluffy dresses and Tutu's. However to spend the money on one pre-made tutu with out braking the bank is hard. So I decided to make two. One for my eldest and one for my baby girl. 

On my quest to the fabric store I found an organza I thought would be nice as a topper to the tutu rather than just plane white tutu.

The organza I used

The problem was with the tulle. How to make the multiple layers with out cutting each piece individually. I solved the problem by folding the tulle fabric to the correct size that I wanted, I sewed  it to the top and bottom layer of organza (I feel tulle is a bit itchy so I used the sheer part of the organza to make a backing), I cut the folds and sewed a pink ribbon on it.

My baby girl trying it on. She wasn't too happy about being the model however I did get to snag these pictures. It should be with a white onesie or a nice shirt and leggings.

Now on to my eldest's tutu!