NO! #hawmc

NO. Such an easy word to say? My toddler says it all the time. Maybe I did too when I was a kid. As a teenager I didn't know boundaries, I knew right from wrong, what inappropriate things were on the list of NO-NO's for myself. However my thoughts were screwed up when it came to my friends.

See I had a car, they didn't. I had to go to places, they didn't. So to keep them being friends with me I drove them to their homes almost every day. Thankfully they lived in the same area, but most lived in the Hills, and driving a manual 1963 VW bug, yeah there were some stalls. I paid for gas myself, mostly out of a summer job and occasionally though my allowance during the school year. I don't remember it being $1.36 a gallon, at some independent stores had Fridays were it was .99 Cents. By the way this was in 1997.

The massive crowd of people would gather around my car on Wednesday's would appear right after the ending bell at 2:35 pm. We got out early, however the AC Transit buses, that took majority of the students home didn't show up on school grounds until 3 pm, if the buses were early it was 2:55 pm, so if you had a car you were obviously popular with the bus crowd. 

During that same year I was going to therapy more and more on a weekly basis because of the teenage hormones, troubles with my mother, my childhood, my diagnosis of Bi-polarity Mania, also every so often they drew blood to see how my body was tolerating the harsh drugs and to see if I need more of one verses the other.

I scheduled most of the therapy sessions on Wednesday's because I could get there by 3 pm and still be home in time to do my homework. That conflicted with the other priority, driving people home. Most sessions I made it there on time, ok maybe 1-2 minutes late but nothing big. Then there were days were I was late 10 minutes and that cut into my time. The therapist told me when that happened I would only get the remaining minutes of the session, nothing more. I thought that was unfair. I was the one paying for the gas to get there, the time I could have been doing some home work or just hanging out at the park.

I gave her my reasons and she thought my "friends" were only using me for my car and that I should start saying No to them on the Wednesday's I had therapy. She also suggested that I shouldn't give lifts to people who just show up at my car, set a time they need to come to me by lunch and ask if they could get a ride after school and also if the rode in the car to pitch in a little gas money.

I was scared that once I said anything to those people I would be less popular in no time and go back having no friends. I agonized over this for a few days.

So Monday afternoon came and so did the people who wanted to go home with out taking a bus to my car. I decided I would make up something that I had to go to so they wouldn't come along. But they got into my car anyway. I told them I wasn't going to my house and that they would need to leave my car. They still sat there waiting for me to start the car. 

I said that whom ever rides in this car from that day forward must pay me 1-2 dollars a day for the extra side trips. Still they sat in my car. I also said that from that day forward they must come to me before 4th period and ask if it was ok to catch a ride with me at least a day in advance.

Most grumbled about the money bit, poor little rich kids, but some reached into their pockets and gave me a few dollars for the gas. I was surprised at the revelation. I took them off the school grounds, because I had really nothing to do besides homework at home to do.

A few days went by and most, but not all still showed up at my car with cash for gas and then I drove them home. A Tuesday morning, my friend Ant, came by and asked if he could get a ride the next day. It was the day of my therapy. I asked where he needed to be dropped off and he said some place other than where I was headed. I told him that I couldn't take him because I needed to be some place at 3 and he nodded and went away.

I felt empowered over hearing myself say No. Rejecting some one and feeling proud and happy that I actually did it. I held my breath the next day to see if he would talk to me at lunch. He did for a minute or two and then he left. The next day was Friday and I went to him and asked him if he needed a ride down to at least where the buses ran more frequently to his home and he said sure.

Most of the other people went with other friends that had cars because they could show up and not be pressed for gas money or a days notice for a ride down to their homes. Yes, I my fear was made true, I did have less friends because I didn't give them free rides anymore, but I learned to say "No" and my friend Ant is still my friend to this very day.

Review - Lighting-Fast Chinese for Kids and Families by Carolyn Woods

Learning a language can be tough, whether it be your second or third and in my case filth! With a full time job, two kids, and a husband to look after I though the possibilities of learning a language was remote. Only when my two year old was watching Ni-Hao Kai-lan on the television was it possible to engage her and my husband in another language. So when this book review opportunity came I really wanted to give it a shot.

Having the sayings from Kai-lan, the small amount of Chinese food words and random words I picked up from my husband, I was totally lost and overwhelmed to start learning one of the oldest languages in the world.

Taken from Amazon.com

The book Lighting-Fast Chinese for Kids and Families by Carolyn Woods makes it easy. She creates prompts and guides in the 60 pages (in paper back or on the Kindle) that made it easy for me to ask my two year old basic questions in real life situations like getting dressed, going to the Zoo, and going to the store. How easy is that? Immersion is one of the best ways to learn a new language and by taking this book with us as we went walking to see the shī zi (lions), lǎo hǔ (tigers) and the xióng (bears) at the Zoo made it more interesting because we were having fun learning Chinese. And that is when real learning takes place.

A small video I made to show you how fun and easy the lesson are!

More by Carolyn Woods

Lightning-fast Spanish For Kids and Families 
 Lightning-fast Spanish Vocabulary Building Crossword Puzzles 

Lightning-fast French For Kids and Families

Lightning-fast German For Kids and Families

Lightning-fast Italian For Kids and Families

Make Money From Home With A Children’s eBay Business

And just published 

Lightning-fast Japanese For Kids and Families

There are only 2 cons I could see about the book. One was the lack of clarity of what dialect I was about to learn. In China there are two main branches Mandarin and Cantonese, then there are the smaller regional subsets. I had to ask my husband, who has a few years of the language, tell me it was Mandarin. The second was the word Pinyin, not until the end of the book is it defined, in the book, {as} the Chinese phonetic language, rather than characters. I would have liked to see that in the beginning as I thought it was the actual dialect of Chinese! 

I give this book 4 out of 5 stars (Amazon Rating system), because of the ease of use that my family enjoyed learning from the book, but lost a star because of the confusion of the dialect and definition as I pointed out above.

Please Note: I was given a copy of the book to review ($14.99 value), however was not told in any way how to write or do a video for the author or received anything other than the copy mentioned above to influence my review.