I never thought the day would come to being. Maybe in a few weeks it will be different. Maybe Grace (the youngest) will not like the arrangement and or grandma will think watching a baby is too rough on her and will have to throw in the towel. Only time will tell.
I have been getting use to the stay at home life. Sleeping in a bit, knowing that the only person to take care of is sleeping right next to you, ok maybe kicking you in the back to change her diaper; because the eldest is at daycare. Getting dressed at noon, so when the mailman comes you do not look like a wreck. Having the freedom to clean the house at what ever time is best for you, because the Netflix marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" is great mind numbing fun.
However fun it seems to me about being the stay at home mom, the anxiety of the real world sets in fast. Bills, depression, and feeling like a failure on some level about being the mom I think my family needs.
I feel the middle ground is me working part time to be there for both kids during the week and to take some pressure off my husband with the bills. Finding my inner craft diva and tacking my husband's sewing machine to sell a few items on Etsy and this new website I found called Craftsy. And getting my Lactation Certificate to hopefully become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) one day.
For now, I guess, I'll be back behind my desk tomorrow morning at 6 AM Pacific Daylight Time trying to stay awake thinking of Grace and how I am doing this wacky job for her and Bella and no one else.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Going back to work, Tomorrow
Labels:
Anxiety,
bills,
combining,
depression,
failure,
family,
Mommy,
money,
Sleeping in,
two kids
Monday, March 26, 2012
Green Bear - A Car Story
The year 1962. The place Walnut Creek, California. The time, say mid morning. A newly rolled out VolksWagon in a car dealership sparkling in the sun. Elvis is playing on the AM radio some where. A man in a suit and tie walks towards a couple as they peer into the freshly washed window, of the newest 1963 model, seeing the new leather, room for their growing family and shopping. They buy the car and enjoy it.
Ten years down the road, same family, yet they are a little older, have two daughters who lay on the hood like car models they see in magazines. The family keeps the car very well maintained for an older model VW.
Eighteen years later, a family member is in need to take a baby to and from places, the car is given to a new owner with some sadness from the old owner. The memories flood back and as the car drives away, the woman wonders if she will ever see it again.
A little shy of the car's thirtieth year of life, tragedy hits. In the hills of Marin County coming back from a weekend trip to Napa, the original engine dies and the guy driving the car is forced to tow it to a shop to get it replaced. He still needs it to get around and to see the little girl that is growing up. She has named it "Green Bear" as it is green and for no other reason, the man lets her call it that. The car doesn't mind at all. Another tragedy comes when it's broken into several times because it is old and people think it can be just taken on a joy ride. The man tells the little girl that he might have to either sell it or junk it. She cries. He decides to take it off the streets, his sister gives him a new car, her old car, and he takes it to Napa for a few years.
In the mists of these years it sat waiting for the man to bring it back to life, which he did on the weekends when he was in Napa. Then one day, he turns the car towards the freeway and doesn't stop till he's in Oakland, where that once young girl is standing now a teenager, and has a license to drive! She is new to the road. Doesn't take it easy on the now thirty-five, or thirty-six years old car. She wants to explore the world. The man says "Do not take it on the freeway, as it's not safe for you or the car". The girl nods and plots to go to places that are only accessible by the freeway. And she does. The man says "do not drive on too many hills, as it's not safe for you or the car", the girl does anyway.
Being a first time driver she is very rough on the car. She has many accidents with it and for a time it does not run. Yet the car is ingrained in her soul. She has it for a few more months after she graduates from high school and then it's returned to Napa to wait patiently for the return of her. Years are not too good on the car.
On it's fortieth birthday it is in Napa baking in the sun, the rain rusting parts that were so lovely taken care of. The feeling that the scrap heap is its final destination. The man tells the young woman that she's better off with out it. She again cries. She vows not to let it go. He purses his lips, but let's this battle go.
In its late forties, the car has seen better days, it feels like its going to wither in the sun, until the girl comes and says, "I am taking you with me!" and proceeds to hook up the car to a hitch as the car's tires are not yet tested to drive long distances. Again it is sidelined for a newer car, however not in the elements as it once was. A few months later, it is again hitched to a trailer and taken to the streets of a small city, again exposed to the elements. Immobile by the years of neglect. The woman and her husband roll it to one side of the street to the other side every other week. The car gets a few tickets because of forgetfulness on their part. A year goes by and finally it gets taken to a repair shop and it gets a small dose of tender loving care. It perks up and starts to run again. A few weeks later it gets placed in a garage, away from the elements, away from the street weepers. It is now waiting for more tender loving care from the woman.
Now the car is in its fiftieth year. Most cars are gone from that era. It knows that. It is very lucky to be in a garage when most of its counter parts are now buried in rust. The woman has two small girls. It hopes to be running great by the time they are old enough to drive. When it becomes sixty years old.
Thank you for reading. The car has been passed down from my aunt to my dad to me. Some of the facts from the 1960's I am not too sure of, so don't treat them like they are real facts. I only know what people have told me.
![]() |
| sorry its upside down |
Eighteen years later, a family member is in need to take a baby to and from places, the car is given to a new owner with some sadness from the old owner. The memories flood back and as the car drives away, the woman wonders if she will ever see it again.
A little shy of the car's thirtieth year of life, tragedy hits. In the hills of Marin County coming back from a weekend trip to Napa, the original engine dies and the guy driving the car is forced to tow it to a shop to get it replaced. He still needs it to get around and to see the little girl that is growing up. She has named it "Green Bear" as it is green and for no other reason, the man lets her call it that. The car doesn't mind at all. Another tragedy comes when it's broken into several times because it is old and people think it can be just taken on a joy ride. The man tells the little girl that he might have to either sell it or junk it. She cries. He decides to take it off the streets, his sister gives him a new car, her old car, and he takes it to Napa for a few years.
In the mists of these years it sat waiting for the man to bring it back to life, which he did on the weekends when he was in Napa. Then one day, he turns the car towards the freeway and doesn't stop till he's in Oakland, where that once young girl is standing now a teenager, and has a license to drive! She is new to the road. Doesn't take it easy on the now thirty-five, or thirty-six years old car. She wants to explore the world. The man says "Do not take it on the freeway, as it's not safe for you or the car". The girl nods and plots to go to places that are only accessible by the freeway. And she does. The man says "do not drive on too many hills, as it's not safe for you or the car", the girl does anyway.
Being a first time driver she is very rough on the car. She has many accidents with it and for a time it does not run. Yet the car is ingrained in her soul. She has it for a few more months after she graduates from high school and then it's returned to Napa to wait patiently for the return of her. Years are not too good on the car.
On it's fortieth birthday it is in Napa baking in the sun, the rain rusting parts that were so lovely taken care of. The feeling that the scrap heap is its final destination. The man tells the young woman that she's better off with out it. She again cries. She vows not to let it go. He purses his lips, but let's this battle go.
In its late forties, the car has seen better days, it feels like its going to wither in the sun, until the girl comes and says, "I am taking you with me!" and proceeds to hook up the car to a hitch as the car's tires are not yet tested to drive long distances. Again it is sidelined for a newer car, however not in the elements as it once was. A few months later, it is again hitched to a trailer and taken to the streets of a small city, again exposed to the elements. Immobile by the years of neglect. The woman and her husband roll it to one side of the street to the other side every other week. The car gets a few tickets because of forgetfulness on their part. A year goes by and finally it gets taken to a repair shop and it gets a small dose of tender loving care. It perks up and starts to run again. A few weeks later it gets placed in a garage, away from the elements, away from the street weepers. It is now waiting for more tender loving care from the woman.
Now the car is in its fiftieth year. Most cars are gone from that era. It knows that. It is very lucky to be in a garage when most of its counter parts are now buried in rust. The woman has two small girls. It hopes to be running great by the time they are old enough to drive. When it becomes sixty years old.
Thank you for reading. The car has been passed down from my aunt to my dad to me. Some of the facts from the 1960's I am not too sure of, so don't treat them like they are real facts. I only know what people have told me.
Labels:
50 years,
Dream,
family,
manic Monday,
reflection,
VW
The dark side of Pinterest
As the world knows there isn't a website that isn't untouched by evil spam, or adult (Rated XXX) content. However I thought it was different on a website called Pinterest. I thought that this was a website that limit their access to it so that real content could get through and not be subjected to porn or "toys" in a category that once held images and links to "How to make home made Play-Doh" or other craft ideas for young children.
This morning I was feeding my youngest daughter and was looking through some of the categories to get some ideas about possible crafts and tips for my eldest daughter (who turns 3 this year) in the Education category of their website. However instead of this category being chalked full of educational crafts, websites for teachers and the random infogram, which I am use to, I found this:

I am not trying to cause an anti-Pinterest movement nor am I canceling my account over this image and link, I am however surprised at the lack of thought that Pinterest does not have a "Mark as Adult" or a flag of some kind for people to click to say that they do not want this kind of image in a particular category. I also do not want to "re-pin" this image and place it in my Pinterest stream for other people to see that may have different ideas. Also give the person whom pinned this in the first place more attention.
Please Pinterest place an Adult category and a flag of some kind for people to tell your company to move questionable content to a more appropriate space after a review of the image and link so that parents and teachers a like can share their crafts in a safe environment.
This morning I was feeding my youngest daughter and was looking through some of the categories to get some ideas about possible crafts and tips for my eldest daughter (who turns 3 this year) in the Education category of their website. However instead of this category being chalked full of educational crafts, websites for teachers and the random infogram, which I am use to, I found this:

I am not trying to cause an anti-Pinterest movement nor am I canceling my account over this image and link, I am however surprised at the lack of thought that Pinterest does not have a "Mark as Adult" or a flag of some kind for people to click to say that they do not want this kind of image in a particular category. I also do not want to "re-pin" this image and place it in my Pinterest stream for other people to see that may have different ideas. Also give the person whom pinned this in the first place more attention.
Please Pinterest place an Adult category and a flag of some kind for people to tell your company to move questionable content to a more appropriate space after a review of the image and link so that parents and teachers a like can share their crafts in a safe environment.
Labels:
adult content,
dark side,
do something,
Pinterest
Friday, March 23, 2012
Woman VS the Sewing Machine
I really have a hard time with getting motivated with sewing. I have a craft box full of material that hasn't seen the light of day in a few years.
My husband a few years ago bought two sewing machines. One a Sears $50 dollar blue one that was for light weight things and a $200 dollar Singer heavy duty almost industrial one that according to my husband costs $300 to replace.
Recently I asked to use one of them to do a few projects that I thought I could complete myself. He pulled out the Singer. I was very scared when I saw it on the table for me to use. So I had him help me start one project was the tutu I made for my youngest. Though it didn't quite make it to being a tutu, it was still very motivating for me to make something that wasn't just a test swatch.
Now I am on to my second project, which doesn't seem to hard, is driving both me and my husband nuts. I really would like to stitch two pieces of material together. However its not working out for me. I have the same problem no matter how much I run the machine. The bobbin thread gets bunched up and gets stuck in one place. I almost want to give up each and every time. Even when I just run a piece of fabric it does the same.
The
Machine
HATES
ME!
Any suggestions on how to fix the problem would be great. I don't want to give it up, and the many times when I asked my husband for help, he tells me he will, then he falls asleep or totally forgets and it doesn't seem to get done any faster than if I do it myself. I feel like a domestic failure.
What am I doing that is wrong? Please help!
The
Machine
HATES
ME!
Any suggestions on how to fix the problem would be great. I don't want to give it up, and the many times when I asked my husband for help, he tells me he will, then he falls asleep or totally forgets and it doesn't seem to get done any faster than if I do it myself. I feel like a domestic failure.
What am I doing that is wrong? Please help!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
This year is an important year
It also marks the fourth year of my marriage! Go figure!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Review - Lighting-Fast Chinese for Kids and Families by Carolyn Woods
Learning a language can be tough, whether it be your second or third and in my case filth! With a full time job, two kids, and a husband to look after I though the possibilities of learning a language was remote. Only when my two year old was watching Ni-Hao Kai-lan on the television was it possible to engage her and my husband in another language. So when this book review opportunity came I really wanted to give it a shot.
Having the sayings from Kai-lan, the small amount of Chinese food words and random words I picked up from my husband, I was totally lost and overwhelmed to start learning one of the oldest languages in the world.
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| Taken from Amazon.com |
The book Lighting-Fast Chinese for Kids and Families by Carolyn Woods makes it easy. She creates prompts and guides in the 60 pages (in paper back or on the Kindle) that made it easy for me to ask my two year old basic questions in real life situations like getting dressed, going to the Zoo, and going to the store. How easy is that? Immersion is one of the best ways to learn a new language and by taking this book with us as we went walking to see the shī zi (lions), lǎo hǔ (tigers) and the xióng (bears) at the Zoo made it more interesting because we were having fun learning Chinese. And that is when real learning takes place.
A small video I made to show you how fun and easy the lesson are!
Lightning-fast Spanish For Kids and Families
Lightning-fast Spanish Vocabulary Building Crossword Puzzles
Lightning-fast Spanish Vocabulary Building Crossword Puzzles
Lightning-fast French For Kids and Families
Lightning-fast German For Kids and Families
Lightning-fast Italian For Kids and Families
Make Money From Home With A Children’s eBay Business
And just published
Lightning-fast Japanese For Kids and Families
There are only 2 cons I could see about the book. One was the lack of clarity of what dialect I was about to learn. In China there are two main branches Mandarin and Cantonese, then there are the smaller regional subsets. I had to ask my husband, who has a few years of the language, tell me it was Mandarin. The second was the word Pinyin, not until the end of the book is it defined, in the book, {as} the Chinese phonetic language, rather than characters. I would have liked to see that in the beginning as I thought it was the actual dialect of Chinese!
I give this book 4 out of 5 stars (Amazon Rating system), because of the ease of use that my family enjoyed learning from the book, but lost a star because of the confusion of the dialect and definition as I pointed out above.
Labels:
4 out of 5 stars,
Amazon,
Carolyn Woods,
Chinese,
Families,
Kids,
Lightning Fast,
Review
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