Bella Roux Bakery - On Thumbtack

So any one want to hire me for something?? If you are in the San Francisco bay area I can come to your house and help you with your greatest struggles. Either click on this link Pastry by Amanda or in the side bar below and hire me for a cool afternoon of teaching!

Fall

This year Fall came late to San Francisco. I don't mean the calendar Fall that came n time. The actual weather feeling.

I can feel the weather changes. It creeps me out most of the time because one day there is nothing and then the next I notice the switch from one season to the next. I thought since I have new allergies and my body is getting older I wouldn't feel it. However two days ago I did.

It's not a bad thing, just weird. Or at least I think it is.

Does anyone out there feel that slight shift or is just me?

CAKE DAY!!!

Today I start my lessons in International Baking and Cake Assembly in school!

Looking forward to it. I am hoping that this class will hone the skills of my cake decorating and make me look like more of a professional than just a great home cook.

This is what I did in June for my oldest. She wanted a frozen cake so like a good mommy I made her a three tier cake with fondant and blueberry filling.

I am wanting to unlock my almost 3 year old brain because its her birthday next and I would like to prepare for it. It took 2 months of planing for the oldest's cake.

been two years

The hurt is still there.

Two years ago in October, the X officially became the X. I guess after two years, you'd say, it is in the past, hurt? What hurt? However last year it was survival mode. Find a job, hold the job. Feed the littles, feed one self.

This year I can process a few things in my brain that were under lock and key. However it will be a huge undertaking of self allowance of the past. However it will hurt and sting, I really do need to process it. Can't stand on my own two feet with out this processes. More later.

Allergies

Ever since my 35th birthday my body has become my worst enemy.

It just was dairy. 

Now its Shellfish, dairy and nuts.

Hahaha nuts. Dirty minds. 

I hate having to watch what I eat. 

Ocular migraines have started. While I was driving. Oh the joy of eating food and playing russian roulette with people's lives. Especially mine. I hate allergies.

I feel yucky and I end up itching all over my body. Breaking out in red rashes. The sore throat that follows every attack. Even when I drink water, it still feels like it will never go back to normal.

Though it does. I still can't leave the house without benadryl. I am thinking about getting an epi-pen. Never really thought that my life may go that direction, however today with the ocular attack, I may have to.

Did I tell you all I hate allergies?

Bread finals

My 6 weeks is almost up in bread class. Obsessively I've been thinking about everything I've done and everything that I would have learned if the class size was cut in half. Panic attacks and worrying that I wouldn't pass because my big claims didn't match to the expectations of my teachers standards. I'll be happy if I get a B in the class. B for Bread. Just survive till Thursday and then it will be Cakes class. I hopefully will get a better grade in this class. Then its off to Math!

Thinking.

Having one of those thinking days.

Evaluating my world, who I want to become, and who I want in my life.

Yea, just one of those days.

Nothing in particular is coming to mind when I actually sit and stare at a blank wall. I don't know if its just that time of the year when I expect something to happen and if and when it does is something I am having an issue with.

Or is it that my life is going smoother than it was last year or the year before and I really am decompressing all that yuck. Maybe I am waiting for a shoe to drop and gearing up for something that will never happen...

ohm...